Billy Mays Ads Leave Me Creeped And Confused

Billy Mays (July 20, 1958- June 28, 2009)

For those of you that haven’t heard the news… Billy Mays has been dead since June 2009. Sorry if I sound insensitive. I really didn’t mean to. Obviously, I am sad to see our dear friend go. Afterall, he was our nation’s king of infomercial sales. Whatever he touched turned to sold. Get it! Whatever!

Anyways, he had an unparalleled beard covered exuberance that can never be matched. On the flip side, I am cannot help but to be totally creeped-out every time I see him making sales pitches on television, or even worse, when I hear Billy Mays sales impersonators on the radio! (Hopefully they can do more than one impersonation….yikes.)

Though I try to remain logical by recognizing that Billy was most likely paid for his product pimping prior to his early departure, I cannot help but to think that infomercials have crossed the line and gotten…well, a little bit slimier. If a man can’t rest after death then we better start getting more than two weeks of vacation a year. I mean, did Billy miss selling so much that he returned from the grave to make a few more product pitches? I think not! The least that his agency could do is have Anthony Sullivan (better known as the Swivel Sweeper guy) re-record Billy’s commercials.

When looking further and putting simple good manners aside, I ask myself why any business would want a dead guy selling its product in what is made to look like real time. (For example: If you call within the next 5 minutes I’ll give you an extra Wonder Mop.) WTF! I mean, even if Billy’s agency doesn’t offer Anthony Sullivan to do a voice over, it is in the product’s best interest to take a Billy-free approach. (Hint: I bet you can get Vince Shlomi for cheap….but then again, I don’t know if he’s still in jail for slapping hookers in Miami.)

Case in point- even school loans go away after death. Agreements to perform pitches on second rate products should pay the same consideration. Billy, may you now rest in peace! Much respect home-slice.

Please Understand This Blog Is Not Just About Coffee. And for Today: How Cold-Brewed Coffee Changed My Life

I figured that I’d go ahead and let you in on some information while I still have coffee on the brain. It involves a coffee press, 1/2 cup of coffee grinds and 4 cups of room temperature, purified water.   Steep for 3 to 12 hours and you end up with the most flavorful cold coffee that has ever danced on your mouth’s taste buds.  (The taste is most similar to a smooth liquid dark chocolate….think 60% cocoa, not milk chocolate, with a hint of coffee essence.)

Here’s where I passionately rant: The cold brewing process does everything you could possibly want! It is green since it avoids virtually any need for electricity. What’s more, the process extracts both the caffeine and the best, richest aromas of the coffee, while leaving the burnt flavors that often occur from using cheap coffee makers possessing poor temperature regulation capabilities. Obviously it is a win, win!

For those of you that prefer a more structured outline, please see below.

You will need:

• 1 French Press
• 1/2 cup of your favorite coffee grounds (This makes a darker, richer batch of cold brew. Add less grounds if you prefer weaker coffee and of course, the fresher the grounds the better the taste.)
• 4 cups of water
• Feel free to add soy or cow milk, and  cane sugar, Stevia or Splenda

The Effort:

Measure a 1/2 cup of coffee and pour into the French press. Add  four cups of room-temperature water (bottled water or filtered water will taste best). Stir the mixture until it is even and there are no lumps. Add the lid of the French Press back onto the top of the container.

The mixture can sit up to 12 hours, which is perfect if you like to start your day with minimal effort. Although, I do find that 3-5 hours is plenty. (I can be impatient too.) Let me know what you think!

If Meat Is Murder Am I A Bad Person For Lusting After Zebra Rugs?

PETA I apologize to you. I love animals. I love gardens. I love vegetables. And, this is why I gleefully add a disclaimer where I agree to purchase a faux-zebra rug if it is 98% similar to the real thing! No tacky roadside equivalents. If an interior designer can’t tell the difference then you have a deal! Until then, I have made my decision.

So this is how it goes. For more than a decade, which is when I saw my first zebra rug, I have incessantly craved a glorious striped beast to dedicate its life to my living room floor! A zebra rug adds a je ne sais quoi to any and every room of the house. They are soft….the bees knees even! All through college, then grad school, I have lusted (and I am typically not the lusting type) after zebra rugs. I figured that I would show you just how fantastic they are!

Thanks to http://paloma81.blogspot.com/ I was able to find a delightful mix of my zebra beauties

By Patrick Cline for Lonny Magazine

The following photos are from the amazing book Glamorous Rooms by Jan Showers

Fabulous!

I heart you Jan Showers

http://www.elementstyle.blogspot.com/ had a few goodies too!

Here's another zebra filled treat!

Smokeless Cigarettes Allowed On Ryanair! It’s True. I’m Not Bluffin’ With My Muffin!

Just when I feel as if the world’s airline companies have taken away every single luxury they do something to surprise me. Boy it is nice when they decide to give back to the customer!

Okay…I was appreciative when airport security exploded in the name of safety.  I merely shrugged when rubbery TV dinners resembling chicken and steak were cut from standard flights. Sure, I became annoyed after liquids larger than three ounces were banned. Nevertheless, perhaps the envelope was pushed a little too far when checked baggage was no longer included in the price of a ticket.

It was at this point of no return when I accepted the possibility that before long we all would be forced to wear clear vinyl jumpsuits to prove that we aren’t packing heat. (Of course the portly citizens not fitting into the one-size fits-all jumpsuit would be kindly directed to the help desk where additional seats are purchased.)

Because of this trend, never in a thousand years have I ever expected to see smoking added back into the in-flight equation. Sure, this smokeless cigarette option is completely different to the old days when the inside of an airplane required chimney sweeps. For one, a smokeless cigarette won’t irritate other passengers with second-hand smoke, because its filter literally eliminates all traces. Secondly, flight attendants can say adieu to temperamental smokers craving a nicotine fix, because they can smoke to their heart’s desire. And, I think we can all agree that the attendants, after dealing with flight after flight filled with H1N1, screaming babies and cranky smokers, could use a break. (All I ask is that we get to change the name of this new fad, because smoking really doesn’t work anymore.)

I understand that some of you may not be amused with Ryanair’s choice to allow smokeless cigarettes. But, I also believe that you should be overjoyed about what this may mean. Quite possibly, airline bullies realize that consumers are peeved about the decade long trend of getting screwed. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll start competing with each other to see who can do the most for consumers. (I mean….probably not, but  Ladies, I too believe that an in flight mani-pedi has been long overdue. What harm could it do to keep our fingers crossed!!)

For more information visit http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-1215233/Ryanair-introduces-smokeless-cigarettes-flights.html

Starbucks VIA: Life Changing Instant Coffee Or Overpriced Sanka?

It appears that Starbucks is at it again. When they aren’t looking to expand onto every corner location in the United States, the company spends its spare time looking at ways to repackage and position age-old products (coffee, instant coffee, coffee cups, doughnuts, etc.)  in a manner which convinces consumers that maybe, just maybe the the new and improved item is worth the 200% mark-up rate. And, with this in mind, I approached VIA, Starbucks’ new instant coffee product, with serious skepticism.

Let me just start off by saying that I am not a novice when it comes to instant coffee. In fact, instant coffee is fairly common internationally and of course, I did have a southern grandma that gave me Sanka kickbacks before sending me back to my parent’s house as a child. However, instant coffee is fairly cheap, and when taking into account that Starblah’s is charging roughly $.82 cents per packet/cup of instant coffee, a cup of coffee that doesn’t yet factor in water, overhead, employees, etc., I can’t help but to be impressed that they have done it again!

Sure, it is handy and convenient. Sure, the instant coffee is cleaner than the thick brown sludge found in the central office’s quarterly cleaned coffee maker. And, this is why I’ll go ahead and confess that yesterday, when they asked me to try the new instant VIA, they may have made a customer out of me. It was dark roasted and delicious. I was impressed and maybe I even want my own 12 pack supply of wasteful individually wrapped instant coffee servings.

Guess I’ll have to put off going green for some other time. Wins: Starbucks =40 41, JolieBlu=0

An Ode To Cupcakes

I woke up today and just couldn’t get the image of cupcakes out of my head! And then like clockwork, the cupcakes began evoking memories as cake sometimes does….a happy childhood, fun birthday parties, polka dots, holidays and not to forget….the time when I required four fillings during one sitting because of my little “problem” with sweets….but never mind that one!

Here are a few cupcake pics from Martha Stewart…a woman I adore for both her craftiness and unlimited street credit!

Strawberry Cupcakes

Click Here for Recipe

Chocolate Graham Cracker Cupcakes with Toasted Marshmallow

Click Here for Recipe

Banana Cupcakes with Honey-Cinnamon Frosting

Click Here for Recipe

Feeling Fat? Christian Louboutin Can Help!

Let’s face it, everyone has had days where the closest you’d get to anything spandex ends up being a pair of  Spanx shapers. Other blogs may give you exercise tips to sulk over while you’re eating a 10 count box of  100 calorie pack Doritos, but I am here to offer immediate solutions. This suggestion…purchase a pair of Louboutins or go into your closet and pull out the most obscene, sexy heels you can find. (By the way, this plan excludes anything with feathers and Lucite. Think tasteful sexy, not stripper sexy. BTW-No offense to the strippers!)

Unlike jeans, your shoes size stays the same and heels immediately add length to the legs, which creates the illusion of a slimmer body. Not to mention, stilettos make you feel sexier and sexy equals happy.

CL is my favorite fat blaster!

Another tip, if you are feeling fat, stay away from anything resembling a pair of sketchers exercise shoes. (Self deprecation does not equal happy.) You’ll thank me later. Ciao bella!

Like I said....exercise shoes

All Good Things Start With A Great Cocktail

Basil mojitos are a must try!

You’ll quickly find that I adore trying new foods and cocktails. Just recently on one of my trips to South Beach I was introduced to the purple basil mojito and since that day I have never looked back. It was a little off the beaten track, but I was awarded for being adventurous. I went ahead and posted the recipe below. If you don’t happen to have a muddler a simple teaspoon will do the trick. Cheers, Santé and L’chaim!

Basil Mojito

2 oz light Rum

fresh squeezed juice of ½ Lime (½ oz )

1 tsp bar sugar

5-7 basil leaves (Purple basil is delicious if you can find it.)

6 mint leaves

soda water

Put the basil, mint leaves and sugar into a glass.  Squeeze the lime juice into the glass.  Muddle well to bring out the smell and flavor of the basil and mint.  Add the rum and stir to dissolve the sugar. Fill the glass with ice, then top off with soda water and stir lightly. Garnish with a lime wheel and serve with a straw. Let me know what you think.

Fabulocity Sans Diva

by Karl Lagerfeld

Today I founded JolieBlu with the intention of creating a delightful guide to assist readers with becoming even more fabulous and interesting than they already are. From time to time you’ll catch a slight twist of hilarity and mischievousness, which if you ask me, is what  makes life interesting and worth while. I truly hope you enjoy what is to become a wonderful blog concerning all things important enough to talk about. Let the fun begin!