Billy Mays (July 20, 1958- June 28, 2009)
For those of you that haven’t heard the news… Billy Mays has been dead since June 2009. Sorry if I sound insensitive. I really didn’t mean to. Obviously, I am sad to see our dear friend go. Afterall, he was our nation’s king of infomercial sales. Whatever he touched turned to sold. Get it! Whatever!
Anyways, he had an unparalleled beard covered exuberance that can never be matched. On the flip side, I am cannot help but to be totally creeped-out every time I see him making sales pitches on television, or even worse, when I hear Billy Mays sales impersonators on the radio! (Hopefully they can do more than one impersonation….yikes.)
Though I try to remain logical by recognizing that Billy was most likely paid for his product pimping prior to his early departure, I cannot help but to think that infomercials have crossed the line and gotten…well, a little bit slimier. If a man can’t rest after death then we better start getting more than two weeks of vacation a year. I mean, did Billy miss selling so much that he returned from the grave to make a few more product pitches? I think not! The least that his agency could do is have Anthony Sullivan (better known as the Swivel Sweeper guy) re-record Billy’s commercials.
When looking further and putting simple good manners aside, I ask myself why any business would want a dead guy selling its product in what is made to look like real time. (For example: If you call within the next 5 minutes I’ll give you an extra Wonder Mop.) WTF! I mean, even if Billy’s agency doesn’t offer Anthony Sullivan to do a voice over, it is in the product’s best interest to take a Billy-free approach. (Hint: I bet you can get Vince Shlomi for cheap….but then again, I don’t know if he’s still in jail for slapping hookers in Miami.)
Case in point- even school loans go away after death. Agreements to perform pitches on second rate products should pay the same consideration. Billy, may you now rest in peace! Much respect home-slice.
I enjoyed reading this, and totally agree you with. Cheers!